My Hair Hurts

I think I'm getting the flu. My hair hurts. My back feels like I was in a rowing competition yesterday. My teeth ache. There is a growing pressure in my forehead. The back of my neck feels like I've been looking down for a really long time and my head is very heavy. My nose is a snot factory and therefore totally raw and red, thus giving me grief with every new wipe with the tissue. My legs feels unable to support the weight of my body. I've got a hacking cough that doesn't ever quit. Blinking seems to take an extreme amount of effort, as does breathing. Sleeping is also difficult because the pressure of the bed against my skin is painful. Seeing also takes a concerted effort. Will I call in sick for work? Nope. I'll feel like crap anyway. I might as well be at work.